Car Crash With a UFO? There’s Auto Insurance Coverage for That!
With the number of UFO sightings going up across the country, and the confirmation by the U.S. government that there are some things flying in our skies it can’t explain, it should come as no surprise that many people are worried about what might happen if their car gets hit by a crashing or low-flying unidentified aerial phenomena. There are already insurance firms offering alien abduction coverage – but what if your car is abducted too? Is this covered under normal theft? What about collisions? Is it an ‘act of God’ if you get hit by an extraterrestrial’s vehicle? Believe it or not, there are insurance firms getting UFO damage policies ready to sell. Should you consider it? Does that company with the gecko have special coverage for reptilian UAPs?
“Whether you live in Washington state, which has the highest number of reported UFO sightings per capita according to the National UFO Reporting Center, or Washington, D.C., which has the lowest, it’s important to make sure your vehicle is covered from any otherworldly damage.”
That advice comes from Automoblog, an “automotive industry, technology, and lifestyle publication that helps readers understand more about cars and driving.” This includes understanding what to do if your vehicle is struck by a UFO. As an example, Automoblog refers to a UFO sighting in March of 2019 in Tennessee when five individuals reported seeing a fireball and other odd lights in the night sky. This is a common occurrence now that Starlink has blanketed the skies with satellites, so Automoblog ponders what might be covered by insurance if one of these objects – either unidentified or known – hits your car? Instead of this hypothetical, they could have used a real auto-UFO collision.
At 1:40 a.m. on August 27, 1979, Marshall County Sheriff’s Deputy Val Johnson was on State Highway 220 near Warren, Minnesota, when he claimed to have driven into a ball of white light about “8 to 12 inches in diameter, 3 to 4 feet off the ground.” Johnson told the account many times and has never wavered or changed the details – he claims to have woken up a half-hour later with burns around his eyes, one headlight of his 1977 Ford LTD smashed, both radio antenna bent sharply back, the clock on the dash 14 minutes slow and the windshield showing multiple cracks which looked like they were caused by unknown “inward and outward forces acting almost simultaneously.” Was the car covered by insurance? Well, it was never repaired – the copper-colored 1977 Ford LTD is on display in its damaged condition at the Settler’s Square Historical Museum in Warren. However, Automoblog says that if the department or the sheriff wanted it repaired …
“If you had comprehensive coverage, you could continue to marvel at the event, secure in the knowledge that your damages were covered.”
That’s right – Automoblog says standard comprehensive covers UFO collisions like the one allegedly suffered by Deputy Val Johnson. What Johnson hit was never identified but it had to have been otherworldly – the damaged was in a straight line one foot wide. Automoblog points out that comprehensive coverage will also pay in the event your vehicle is hit by a piece of the ever-growing collection of human-made space debris orbiting the Earth. However, that is only if you are driving – it doesn’t say what is covered if your parked car is hit by space junk. It also doesn’t have any information on what is covered if your vehicle is abducted or stolen by aliens. For that, you have to contact the St. Lawrence Insurance Company in Altamonte Springs, Florida.
$10,000,000.00 ALIEN ABDUCTION INSURANCE
“Don’t Leave Earth…Without It”
That is the advertising slogan and promise on the St. Lawrence Insurance Company website, where owner Michael St. Lawrence says he has sold over 7,000 of these policies at $24.95 each ($29.95 for a printed copy) and has paid out on two claims. The policy clearly states that “You have to come back (with the signature of an) authorized, on-board alien” in order to make a claim, but St. Lawrence made two exceptions. In one, the policyholder provided a statement from someone at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology stating that he had a chip implanted in him of non-earthly origin. In the other, the policyholder brought a black Polaroid photo that he claimed was from the inside of the space ship – on the margin of the photo was written: “Sorry, but the lighting was really bad inside the UFO.”
Before you bring up your favorite photo editing app and start working on a picture and a note from an alien, it’s important to point out that the $10 million was not paid out in full – the policy states that the checks will be issued for $1 a year for 10 million years. In a recent interview, St. Lawrence tongue-in-cheekly mentions that his claims department is headed by Mr. McLaim. However, he himself worked at a real insurance company for a while, and has an interest in UFOs – he thinks “It’s a quantum physics situation—that’s what’s going on. That’s why, in most cases, there’s no tangible evidence to prove the UFO thing.”
So, now you know how to get insurance coverage in the event you hit a UFO with your car or you’re abducted by aliens. What about if you encounter some other paranormal beings – like werewolves or vampires? Good news! There’s an insurance policy for you too. The Royal Falcon Hotel in Lowestoft, England, really takes care of its employees and guests – it insures its staff and customers against death and disability caused by ghosts, poltergeists and other abnormal phenomena.
Do you feel any safer now? Getting hit by space junk is definitely a possibility these days, but there is no need to get special insurance for your car – collision coverage appears to be sufficient. The odds are low, but if you fear that your house could be hit, check with your agent about a rider on your homeowner’s policy. If you’re worried about abductions, it should be obvious that the St. Lawrence insurance policy is for entertainment purposes only. And if you’re worried about attacks by ghosts, werewolves, vampires and other strange creatures, perhaps you should see your doctor first, then consider staying at a different hotel.